Why Emotional Intelligence is the Secret to IT’s Strategic Influence
Influencing Skills for IT
The Challenge for IT
We spend a lot of time in rooms with smart IT professionals. The technical expertise is always there. The IQ is never in doubt.
And yet, we’re often called in when something isn’t landing—when projects stall, trust breaks down, or the business resists what, on paper, seems like the perfect solution.
As one CIO put it to us recently,
“Our people know what they’re talking about. But they’re not always heard.”
What’s missing isn’t intelligence. It’s the ability to grasp the emotional landscape at an intuitive level and respond to it: emotional intelligence in other words.. And in our experience, that’s where real influence begins.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
Technology now sits at the heart of strategic decision-making. From AI and cybersecurity to cloud architecture and customer platforms, IT isn’t just a support function anymore. It’s a strategic one.
But as the stakes rise, so do the demands.
IT is expected not only to deliver, but to build bridges—to collaborate across silos, balance competing priorities, and lead in spaces where trust can’t be taken for granted.
And that takes more than technical brilliance. It takes emotional intelligence:
Empathy. Self-awareness. Adaptability. The ability to stay connected, even when tensions run high.
We’re talking about this now because we’re seeing it make a difference in real time.
The IT teams who get heard, invited, and trusted aren’t always the most technically brilliant. They’re the ones with the strongest ‘relational skills’.
There’s a growing body of research in social psychology and neuroscience showing that emotional intelligence (EQ) is a stronger predictor of influence and team success than IQ.
Perspective Taking Learning
We were working recently with a senior IT leader, rolling out a company-wide data platform. The technology was sound. The vision was clear. Executive sponsorship was in place.
But the rollout stalled. Business units resisted. Regional teams delayed. Progress slowed.
When we came in, the issue soon became apparent, The project was strong, but the people felt steamrolled. No one had asked what they needed. Nobody had acknowledged the emotional weight of past failed projects. No one had created space for people to feel heard.
So, we ran a series of workshop with the implementation team. As a result, they took a different approach when engaging the business. They started holding one-to-one conversations—not to explain, but to understand. The team asked questions. They reflected back what they heard. They acknowledged people’s concerns without defending the plan.
The team began focusing on perspective-taking—learning to see the solution through the eyes of the end user. They also turned the mirror on themselves, exploring their own biases, assumptions, and blind spots.
And something shifted.
People started opening up. Walls came down. Collaboration returned. The rollout got back on track.
What changed wasn’t the roadmap. It was the emotional climate.
We’ve seen this story play out many times. And the evidence backs it up: Studies show that empathy and active listening significantly increase trust and cooperation.
Influencing Skills for IT Teams
Neuroscience even shows that when people cooperate, the neural circuitry most associated with emotional intelligence become the most active—and their brain activity starts to mirror one another.
In other words, when IT teams show up with emotional intelligence, people are more likely to meet them with cooperation.
And perhaps most encouragingly, the science shows that emotional intelligence can be learned.
When emotional intelligence is missing, IT often gets stuck at the edge of the conversation.
Smart ideas go unheard. Trust stays brittle. And a dangerous perception starts to take hold:
“Technically capable, but they don’t really understand the business.”
In today’s digital world, how you engage is just as important as what you deliver.
You can be right—but still not be effective.
The Good News: Emotional Intelligence Is Learnable
There’s a myth that emotional intelligence is something you either have or you don’t.
That’s not what we’ve seen.
EQ Skills for IT teams
At Threshold, we help IT professionals build EQ the same way you’d build any other skill: through practice, reflection, and feedback.
Our approach is hands-on and grounded in reality:
- Immersive theatre — where people observe and unpack real moments of tension, like being challenged in a leadership meeting or handling a passive-aggressive colleague.
- Live simulations — where people practice high-pressure conversations with professional role-players, receiving real-time coaching and feedback.
- Coaching and reflection — helping people notice what they miss, adjust their approach, and experiment with new ways of showing up.
People leave these sessions more aware of their impact. They notice the more positive responses they get.And that creates a self-reinforcing cycle. The more they lean into emotional intelligence, the more the business leans in, too.
Conversations get deeper.
Tough moments become collaborative, not combative.
And IT stops being seen as order takers—and starts being seen as trusted partners.
Practical EQ Tips for IT Professionals
- Listen to understand — not just to prepare your reply.
- Reflect back what you hear — in their words, to check understanding.
- Pause before reacting — a moment’s silence can prevent hours of friction.
- Affirm the positives — name what your colleagues are doing right, even in small ways.
- Ask yourself, “What does this feel like from their side?” — that one shift in perspective can change everything.
Smart systems may run the business.
But emotionally smart people make it work.
And for IT to be truly influential, EQ is the power skill of the moment
At Threshold, we are helping our clients to ensure that their human workforce is committed, engaged and ready for the technology revolution. We do this by bringing about small shifts in line manager behaviour that make a big difference. To find out more visit www.threshold.co.uk
