Why the ‘right’ Legal Advice Gets Ignored – And How to Make It Stick
Influencing Skills for Legal Teams
Why do people resist advice – even when it’s clearly in their own interest? It’s a situation almost every in-house lawyer has faced.
A senior business colleague is close to signing a high-stakes deal. Legal spots a real risk and explains it clearly. But the advice is rejected.
So the lawyer tries again – this time with even more clarity, more detail, and more supporting evidence. But the response is the same: dismissiveness or pushback.
Legal feels sidelined, and the risk remains unaddressed.
And yet, the instinct to push harder in these moments often leads us in exactly the wrong direction.
Holy Trinity of Influencing
At Threshold, we encourage Legal professionals to remember our Holy Trinity of Influencing:
- Insistence leads to resistance.
- Resistance is a cue to change your strategy.
- Great meetings are built on rapport, not agreement.
The evidence is clear: People are far more likely to accept advice from those they trust.
But trust isn’t built by logic alone. It’s built through human connection.
As in-house counsel, you don’t need to agree with your stakeholders – but you do need to be in rapport.
Why Rapport Is So Critical
Legal professionals rightly focus on being accurate, cautious, and clear. But without rapport, even the best advice can fall flat.
And it’s easy to miss what rapport really means. It’s not about being liked. It isn’t not about saying the right thing.
It’s about being on the same side of the table – working together on a shared problem.
Two people can disagree and still be in rapport. What matters is the trust –the ability to speak openly, challenge honestly, and stay connected.
In complex, decentralized organizations, influence doesn’t flow through hierarchy. It flows through relationships.
Legal needs to be involved early, when the real decisions are being shaped. But that only happens when Legal is seen as a partner – someone who understands the commercial pressures, not just the legal risks.
Why the ‘right’ Legal Advice Gets Ignored – And How to Make It Stick
At Threshold, we equip lawyers with a proven toolkit for establishing rapport. It was developed by clinical psychologists who found that they frequently faced resistance when giving advice to their clients. While the advice was often critical, even life-saving, they found that clients would still push back. The tool kit uses open questions, reflections to check for understanding, and affirmations, to show appreciation for what the client is already doing right. The evidence shows that this method is significantly more likely to lead to rapport. And where there is rapport advice is more readily accepted and acted upon. This method translates remarkably effectively into the legal domain.
We train simulate the moments where trust is most at risk – high-pressure conversations, tight deadlines, and visible stakes. The result is that lawyers start to use these methods authentically and instinctively. Relationships strengthen and advice is more readily acted upon.
These skills aren’t innate – but they are learnable. And when Legal professionals build them, they earn earlier access, build internal allies, and become central to strategic decision-making.
Practical Tips for Building Rapport in Legal
- Ask about their pressures first – before giving advice.
- Reflect what you hear – to check for understanding and show you’re listening.
- Affirm what’s already working – people are more open when they feel seen.
- Name shared goals – to reduce tension and build alignment.
- Use empathetic language – show you understand their world, not just the legal one
At Threshold, we are helping our clients to ensure that their human workforce is committed, engaged and ready for the technology revolution. We do this by bringing about small shifts in line manager behaviour that make a big difference. To find out more visit www.threshold.co.uk
