Authentic Rapport – The Missing Piece in HR’s Influence Puzzle
The Challenge for HR
Influencing Skills for HR Teams
Too often, HR struggles to create real business change. The problem is rarely a lack of expertise, in our experience. More often than not, it’s about the relationship with the business.
Trust drives influence. And trust begins with that intangible quality that psychologists define as ‘rapport.’
When HR’s interactions feel transactional, bureaucratic, or disconnected, trust erodes. When they feel human, responsive, and connected, trust grows.
At Threshold, we help HR teams to become more influential, by enabling them to become better at creating and strengthening a sense of rapport with the business.
Recently, one of our clients rolled out a new performance review tool. It ticked every strategic box. It helped line managers reward great work and develop potential.
But adoption stalled. Business unit leaders were slow to engage. Line managers weren’t showing up for the process.
HR responded by pushing harder—publicly calling out slow adopters and threatening to escalate the issue to senior leadership.
The result? More resistance. Not less.
We weren’t surprised.
The evidence from behavioural science is clear: People don’t resist because they’re stubborn. They resist when they value their autonomy. Put simply, we humans don’t like to feel pushed, especially when we feel that the person doing the pushing doesn’t fully understand us, or the way the world looks from our perspective. The instinct, therefore, is to push back. Psychologists call this the ‘backfire effect.’
Holy Trinity of Influencing
At Threshold, we teach what we call the Holy Trinity of Influencing:
- Insistence leads to resistance.
- Great meetings are built on rapport, not agreement.
- Resistance is a cue to change your strategy, not push harder.
Authentic Rapport – The Missing Piece in HR’s Influence Puzzle
In clinical psychology, the gold standard for influencing behaviour isn’t confrontation.
It’s Motivational Interviewing—a method we draw on in our training. This centres on building rapport, by seeking a genuine understanding of the person you’re looking to influence. It’s about asking the right questions, truly listening, and reflecting to check for understanding.
The evidence here is clear: When people feel heard and involved, they’re far more likely to change.
Methods of Motivational Interviewing
We’ve helped HR teams put this into practice, by training them in the methods of motivational interviewing, so that this approach becomes second nature whenever they meet resistance from the business.
Back to the Review Tool: Here’s what happened when the HR team shifted gears.
They stopped pushing the business—and started listening to the business. They took time to understand the pressures their stakeholders were under. Only then did they introduce the benefits of the new process—always connecting back to what mattered most to the business.
The tone shifted. Adoption improved. And trust began to rebuild.
When HR gets rapport wrong, three things happen:
- HR becomes “the department to work around.”
- Tools are used in name only—not in spirit.
- Influence shrinks, even if capability stays high.
When rapport is built with intention, HR:
- Gets invited in earlier.
- Faces less resistance.
- Drives change faster—and with less friction.
Influencing and rapport training for HR Teams
At Threshold, we help HR teams make this shift by training them in methods to build rapport and influence. This includes:
- ‘Immersive theatre’ showing typical scenarios brought to life by actors
- Facilitated discussion to understand and deconstruct the dynamics of a typical interaction with the business
- Holding the mirror up, so that HT professionals get an honest gauge of their strengths and weaknesses
- Retooling, to equip with methods
- Simulation, to practice influencing and rapport-building in high-stakes situation
At Threshold, we are helping our clients to ensure that their human workforce is committed, engaged and ready for the technology revolution. We do this by bringing about small shifts in line manager behaviour that make a big difference. To find out more visit www.threshold.co.uk
